Nobody cares…

I’m not joking here…

Nobody actually cares!

The sooner you realise that, the sooner you can get on with your own life and be happier.

In the wake of the horrific terrorist attacks on Paris, I find myself thinking about what drives people, why they do what they do and the complete lack of empathy shown by the majority of humans on this planet.

Sure, social media is full of ‘let’s all cry for this and that’, but how long does that really last?

Who actually sits up and makes a change in this world.

It’s fashionable to join in with the conversation when a terrible event occurs – but as a whole, we pay our little bit of lip service and carry on with our lives.

After all, ‘we’ are the center of our own universe and nothing is ever going to change that.

With that in mind – knowing that most people don’t really give a shit what happens outside of their own bubble, why do we place so much emphasis on what people think of US?

I truly believe we shouldn’t.

Everyone has an opinion, but why should somebody else’s opinion be more powerful than our own?

Have you ever had a day where you’re on top of the world, you’ve bought yourself a new outfit and had your hair restyled? You’re receiving compliments from all your friends and family.

Then you overhear a jealous work colleague commenting on the way you dress and it brings you back down to earth with a thud.

In an instant, you become self conscious, uncomfortable with the same choices that made you feel amazing less than 20 seconds ago. Because somebody else said something to change your point of view.

You didn’t even like or respect this person to begin with, but now their opinion has put you in a negative state for the rest of the day.

We give people far too much power over our lives.

For most of us, it’s the negative people who have most influence too.

In our desperation to fit in and be liked, we allow complete strangers to dictate our choices.

Sometimes, the fear of rejection is so great, we refuse to make a choice altogether.

What about the BIGGER decisions such as:

Whether to try for a promotion
Whether to change career
Whether to adopt a more healthy lifestyle
Whether to ask out the person you’ve always liked

Any time you’ve ever considered making a change and asked friends for their opinions, or received opinions you didn’t want, you handed over control to somebody else.

I’ve done it myself…

I’ve listened to friends who told me not to do things because they were too hard. So I didn’t try.
I’ve listened to family who told me to get a job after leaving school. So I did.
I’ve listened to colleagues who told me ‘nobody ever gets a pay rise here’. So I didn’t try.
I’ve listened to school teachers who told me ‘that career is too hard to get in to’. So I didn’t try.

When we give away our power to other people we become helpless and very unhappy.

So what’s the solution?

It begins with a question…

“Who should have power over my life?”

And the answer should always be…

“I do”

I’m guilty of doing the same things – I give power to everybody else and rarely exercise my own power. It’s difficult, but with practice and constantly asking yourself the right questions, new habits can be formed.

I’m making that decision today – I’ll be asking myself the question over and over until I give myself permission to take control of my own decisions without fear of judgement from others. I invite you to do the same.

Ultimately the decision is yours, will you do it?